Why is it....?

It's been awhile since the last time I posted a poem in my blog. Today, I tried to write this poem, capturing the moments and feeling that I'm in right now... As Christian, there will be times that we are Spiritually up and discern.. and there are times that we can feel that God is very far from us... and that is what I felt just today when I started to write this poem. At the end of my poem, it's really weird but my questions has been answered...

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Why is it so hard to hear Your voice today?
Why is it so hard to read Your Word today?
It seems like I cannot understand,
It seems like I’m becoming numb.

Why is it so hard to pray today?
Why is it so hard to confess today?
It seems my mind & heart isn’t right?
It seems I’m hiding myself to Him again…

Why is it so hard to love today?
Why is it so hard to have compassion today?
It seems like I’m selfish again today?
It seems like I just don’t even care at all…

Why is it so hard to please You today?
Why is it so hard to Worship using my Life?
It seems like my life doesn’t magnify Him.
It seems like my will has been done again…

So I lift everything to My Lord today, though my sin is haunting me tonight.
Yes, I lay everything from my heart today, to the One who forgives & revives completely .
There is nothining good in me. There is nothing to be ashame...
My Lord, My God, Messiah. Your grace is made perfect in my weakness.
My Lord, My God, Messiah. Your grace is sufficient for me to hear You speak.

So I lift everything to My Lord today, though everything seems so blurred and weary.
Yes, I lay everything from my heart today, to the One who owns it right from the start.
There is nothing good in me. There is nothing to be ashame...
My Lord, My God, Messiah. Your Love is the answer to my longing question.
My Lord, My God, Messiah. Your Love is from everlasting to everlasting.

I believe

I created this poem in my recent three simultaneous hard days that I experienced in my life. Wherein, I wrote a part of it when I am perplexed and twisted, a time when I am just sad and lonely, and a time when my emotion is filled with agony and despair. As I went into those times, God showed me that He is the only way and the only solution for my trials. We just need to acknowledge His presence and ask for His help. Indeed, God is a tender loving God. He will not despise His children nor turn His back from us.

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I’m standing awake in a dreamless sleep,
Where fears and shadows are all mine to keep,
Huge waves of trials embraced me deeply,
I tell you, “I’m about to freak out in a moment.”

As I hide myself in the silence,
I found you in my silence,
Your voice whisper to my ears,
Echoing and said "I will be here".

Hiding myself in blanket of tears,
Confusing on what I have been,
I knelt down in the silence of Your presence
You said “Don’t be afraid, come to me.”

How come you never let me go,
You’re always there with Your Love.
Why do You love me so?
I’ve never been worth this much.

Oh, Lord, I believe,
Your presence became my hiding place.
Oh Lord, I believe,
Your love can move me in the mountains.
Oh Lord, I believe,
Your Will is the cry of my heart and soul.

Teach me, guide me as You want me to be,
Control me, use me as for Your Glory will be,
I believe, I'm safe in Your tender arms...
Thank you Lord for being the solution. I'm free

Weak and wounded sinner

This poem was composed a few weeks ago. The words seems effortlessly created, but the words that I used impacted me in many ways.
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The sun rise up in the horizon,
Another chase up for the season.

Take a bath and eat the morning meal,
Another challenge in my work to deal.

Take the ride and go to work.
As God's abounding grace sustains.

The tables full of obligations to work,
Arms wide open in my chair lock.

The brain said "Relax and take it easy".
But the heart pumps and said "I want to give up".

The work now became a rush of blood.
Another prayers seems to heed.

Weak and wounded sinner indeed I am.
Another cry for His grace I need.

Weak and wounded sinner I always be.
Another statement I need to remember.

Before the dawn

Have you ever been in-love with a person that is not acceptable to your clan or family? And somehow you decided that whatever it takes you will fight for the one you love? Given the chance that you can only see him or her at the dawn?
I wrote this simple but emotional (repeatable as you can see from the verses)poem with the story of two non-christian lovers who ought to make "Tanan" just to be together. We all know that without God and the blessings from their parents their relationship will never work. I have fun composing the lines for this poem although its a secular poem. I'm sure that the verses of this poem will make a great impact for lovers with the same situation.
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I've been dreamin you lately for sometimes,
Why can't I be with you this time?
Meet me after dark again and I hold you,
And we will never be apart again...

And maybe tonight,
We'll fly so far away,
We'll be lost before the dawn.

If only I can hold you now,
Then I'll hold you my love.
Then we'll make this dream real,
And I will never ever wake again.

Somehow ,
I know that we can't wake again from this dream
Cause its not real but..

Maybe tonight,
We'll fly so far away,
We'll be lost before the dawn.

God said

I wrote this poem to share how God helped me, for not leaving me, for guiding me thru the trials that I'm encountering everyday especially at work,from keeping me to say "No" to temptations and for reminding me to focus everything for His Glory!
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Folders piled up in my table,
Phone rings can't even entertain it.
Reports shout itself at me can't consolidate.
Heart pumpin, Brain machination denies,
"Your working for me not for men" God said!

Good clients are hard to find.
Sweet words should never left unsaid.
Good clients takes months to have,
But just seconds to lose them.
"What you sow is what you reap" God said.

A close officemate who once so gentle and sweet.
But now thorns suddenly grows in her head.
Buddy, what makes your sudden change?
Silent words, fake personality came up.
Testimony knocks my heart, Love one another God said.

Cigarettes and curse words flooded the room,
God what am I to do?
"Be a salt and light" God said.
May I be the reason to stop them from sinning.
Stand on faith especially when you're alone God said.

My Old Blue Bible

This is a poem for my 1st Bible(NIV) that I bought a few years ago. Even though its old, even though I opened it a thousand times, the message that the Author had bring forth to me had become my daily refuge. Through my ups and downs, this Holy book has been my light to become strong and not surrender in the battlefield of my life. What an awesome wonderful book to have.

My old blue Holy Bible,
What message have You
Prepared for me to learn?
What verse for the day to seek?
What interpretation to think for thoughts?
What devotion to foretell?

Is it for my iniquities?
Sidle walk of my sin?
Stable faith to continue?
Blessed things to give thanks?
Bore unsolved problems?
Or just reminding me of Your Glory?

What a magnificient Author within,
Aspiring, touching and teaching me
To become an obedient child of His.
Turned away from my old self,
Trained me to do His will.
Treasured good news that I obliged to spread.

My old blue Holy Bible,
Merit of Love is your content.
Through redemption of Blood of Christ,
The entire humanity accepts Thee had become Yours.
The Author rejoices as I ponder your content,
Thank God for having you to nourished me everyday!

My God, My Employer!

The day has ended again as it was yesterday,
Weary thoughts had gone astray.

My God, Thank You for keeping me safe and sound,
To Thee indeed all my works are glorified.

As I met different kinds of people everyday,
It only yields me that You indeed are above all.

Slave to my earthly masters, Treating them with high respect!
Slowly tiptoe thru the windows, Saluting God in heavenly realms!

A just and fair omniscient God,
Who elected His creatures according to His will!

From CEO to Assistant clerk,
From Rich to Poor,
From White-collar jobs to Scavengers,
From Death to became Alive again!
My God! You're my Employer..my Redeemer everyday!