Talking to myself

How am I as a person? Have I improved at least a little from last year? Or am just doodling around? Where am I right now? Where am I on my career? Am I right in the place that He wants me to be? Am I happy on what I'm doing? Or am I just being motivated by the monetary income that I'm receiving without actually growing on what I'm doing? Or am just doing my work as if I have no other choice but to do it..? again... Where am I? Am I on the right place? Ryan.. where am I? please answer me....

What is this place that you are in? Why are you here? The things that you're doing here... are you sure that you are happy and satisfied? Who are your comrades? your closest friends? When is the last time they asked you if you're fine? Where is your bestfriend? Have that friend makes you feel alone and lonely again..? Where is your family? When is the last time you told them that you loved them? Do you really mean it? again... What is this place that you are in? Why are you here? Ryan.. Why are you here? please answer me...

Lord... why are you here? why you're always here by my side? Are you here to guide me in my doodling times? Are you here to guide me and to show me the place that I should be? You want to help me fly and soar like an eagle? Lord... what is this place that you are in? why are you here? I should be the only one alone here.. why are you lifting this burden that I'm into? You don't deserve this... I deserved this.... this feelings.. emotions..., why are you still here? why raise me up? why love me? ... again... why keep on asking.. Ryan.... Love.. this is the answer.. Agape love... only He could give.